An Open Letter to People Who Aren’t Reading This

If you are reading this, this isn’t about you. Not everything is about you. Why does it always have to be about you, anyway? There are other people in this world, you know. People like you (not the you I referenced before but the other you I’m referring to now) who aren’t reading this. You know who you are! Why aren’t you reading this? There’s more to life than just not reading this, you know. Get over yourselves!

If you’re not reading this, you probably don’t listen to the Life Is Hard podcast. And if that is the case – for shame! You have no idea what you’re missing. I don’t either, because I don’t listen to that crap, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. In fact, it means you should because you don’t. I mean, you still should even if you do, but then you wouldn’t really need me to tell you that because you already know. And I’m not talking to you anyway. Why do you keep interrupting when I’m trying to talk to the other you who don’t listen? Are you even listening?!?

It’s time for you to take control of your life by doing exactly what I tell you to do. Read this post. Listen to the podcast. Subscribe to us on YouTube. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Try to forget that we have a Google+ account. Send comments to Share us with your friends. Share us with your enemies. Share us with your strangers. Share us with your families (but not your mom, she already thinks your choices are mistakes, we don’t want to add this one to the list). Take inaction now! If you don’t, you won’t be sorry. But we will, and that’s more important.

Remember, all that really matters in the end is that kittens are cute.